We Wrote and Performed a 10-minute Play in Iambic Pentameter

…In a public park.

"You should not eat that! Do you know what's in that butter goo?!"

Here’s the introduction from the challenger–below that, you’ll find…yes,  a video of the performance.

Over here, we can’t believe we are actually putting this on the internet.  We can’t even bear to watch it!  –it’s too embarrassing.  Yet still, we are going courageously onward, and posting it.  (and I still can’t believe it). But okay, here it is:

Maybe you’d like to know a little bit about the process?  Well, after being challenge to write and perform a ten-minute, two-person play in iambic pentameter, we did a little pentameter warm up.  This entailed Dorian writing a sonnet to peanut butter, and Amanda writing a poem, from the point of view of a Mr. Snoot, about eating animal crackers—in a paranoid, oh-my-god-what-is-this-animal way.  (which, yes, was strange . . .)

"Another fool deluded by delicious."

So, from this fertile material, considering that we were supposed to perform it in a park, we took those two characters (Dorian and Mr. Snoot) and placed them in a park.  To add a little conflict, we made Dorian an annoying teenage version of himself.

. . . and then we just traded off writing lines.  Dorian wrote the lines for Dorian, Amanda wrote the lines for Snoot.  We just hung out, and sent the lines back and forth by email.  And that process, multitasking as it was, took about . . . . six hours?

That included a break about half-way through, in which we tried to plan out how it would end.

"Hydrogenated OILS!"

(also, we had had the idea, previously, about maybe making the play be about the ghost of George Washington Carver, summoned from the grave by berries .  . . who were jealous that peanut butter, made from nuts, was so much better than jelly, made from them—and who thought the ghost of Carver could invent some peanut butter-rivaling berry-based product.  So we added that in there too).

For those of you who would like to nitpick about iambic pentameter perfection (or lack thereof), here is the link to the text: Play Butter No Hurting 1

If you perform your own rendition, please send us your own embarrassing videos.

That’s it from us.  We hope you enjoy it.

Dragon with Polka Dots, Samurai Reference, and “This Butter’s Not for Hurting . . . A (Miniature) Ghost Story”

Hey.  We made an origami dragon.  Also, it’s cute and has polka dots.

roar

Also, it’s terrifically difficult to make.  I don’t know if you can tell by looking at the picture, but it is just one small cultural step from making the above . . . and becoming a member of a warrior caste capable of glorification in many feature films and/or choosing to kill oneself rather than be defeated.

Yes, it’s just one small step away.

In other news, the play “This Butter’s Not for Hurting . . . A (Miniature) Ghost Story” will be premiering tomorrow night (gasp)  in an outdoor venue  (park) tomorrow night.

The play is written by . . . us, and is staring . . . us, plus a (miniature) ghost of a famous inventor.

Which means there’s special effects.  Also, the play is ten minutes long and is entirely in iambic pentameter (more or less).

We will have a video of the performance, as well as a complete script (for all those who want to perform their own renditions) this Saturday.

–also, needless to say, creating and performing a ten-minute, two-person play in iambic pentameter was one of the seven challenges we initially accepted.

Until, Saturday . . .

Two Free (Astounding) Samples of Iambic Pentameter

We were challenged to write (and perform) a 10-minute play in iambic pentameter. Just like the challenge to do ten one-handed pushups, we felt we could benefit from a little training. So–we decided to write 100 lines. About camels.

Well. Some of us interpreted this as meaning camels needed to be referred to at least once. Other people interpreted this as, “I will just think about writing about camels, while I write about peanut butter.” Anyway. Neither one of us has quite finished writing 100 lines (one of us has 70, the other of us has…32…which affords plenty more time for camel references).

Without further ado, a food-oriented sampling (two sonnets) selected from our almost-100 lines of iambic pentameter warm-up. We’re hoping to perform the whole (but as-of-yet-unwritten) play when weather permits, sometime next week. Yes, there will be videos.

f

SONNET TO PEANUT BUTTER

I like to eat the butter of a nut
it is of the pea (nut) that I speak
and well I wish I were more ‘riginal
yet eat it with a jam is what I do.

what smoothness, or sweet crunch, is there to find
in this amazing butter of a nut
and the place to place my pity shows itself;
it is the place of jam, whose taste must pale

when compared to such a one as this: oh!
this smooth Carver-created wonderness—
as if—the suffix “-licious” had but one
fair thing on which to place itself—the king

of taste and texture, it is true, the great
Peanut Butter Referent of “delicious”

f

PETER T. SMOOT CONTEMPLATES PLATES OF ANIMAL CRACKERS

They don’t have eyes. Amorphous bodies. Lumps
that could be elephant or boar. This blob
is dog…no, woolly alligator! Risk
abounds in what is not defined. To them,
I’m yummy cookie, human shaped (at least,
I’m cookie-flavored though I’m called a cracker)–

they’ll eat me back unless I crunch their heads
…If I can tell what’s head, that is. Therein
the problem lies. A plate of formless clouds,
brewing a storm. Beastly ambiguity.
It’s best to not do anything when faced
with what you do not know. I only eat

the camels. It’s safe to eat the camels.
I always know–the camels have the humps.